Co-constructing “We” and “Us”: Joint talk and storytelling with cohabitating couples

Using Gubrium and Holstein’s (2009) approach to narrative analysis, I examine how couples and I co-authored and co-edited shared meanings while talking about “we-ness.” I pay particular attention to my role as researcher and how I was active in inviting these conversations. I also attend to how participants and I developed joint meanings, negotiated individual and relational identities, and managed couples’ public image through processes of collaboration and control; specifically, by indicating agreement, navigating disagreements, and passing over alternative stories. Participants observed that talking about we-ness, with one another and with me, increased their sense of closeness. Thus, orienting to moments of togetherness and discussing past, present, and future experiences as a couple had implications for their understandings of “we” and “us.” I discuss the implications of my results, inviting researchers and therapists to consider how they may be active in shaping meaning- and identity-making conversations with participants and clients.