1887
  1. Home
  2. e-Journals
  3. Journal of Language and Sexuality
  4. Volume 14, Issue 2
  5. Article
Volume 14, Issue 2
  • ISSN 2211-3770
  • E-ISSN: 2211-3789
USD
Buy:$35.00 + Taxes

Abstract

Abstract

This study explores flirting practices in Danish Tinder chats, focusing on how users employ social categories to pursue intimacy. Drawing on membership categorization analysis and the small story paradigm, and engaging with sexual script theory, it is demonstrated how participants invoke and negotiate standardized relational pairs (SRPs) to playfully position themselves and their potential partners. The research reveals that users creatively deploy asymmetrical SRPs, such as prince-princess, doctor-patient or serviceperson-hotel guest, as metaphorical devices to introduce and explore romantic or sexual scenarios. These practices allow users to navigate the challenges of self-presentation and relationship-building in online dating contexts, balancing humor, creativity, and sexual innuendo. The study demonstrates how participants simultaneously reproduce and challenge traditional gender roles and sexual scripts through their interactions. By examining these micro-level linguistic practices, we gain insight into the broader sociocultural norms and expectations surrounding online dating and intimate relationships in a Danish context.

© John Benjamins Publishing Company
Loading

Article metrics loading...

/content/journals/10.1075/jls.24020.and
2025-08-18
2026-03-07

  • From This Site

    /content/journals/10.1075/jls.24020.and
    dcterms_title,dcterms_subject,pub_keyword
    -contentType:Journal -contentType:Contributor -contentType:Concept -contentType:Institution
    10
    5
Loading full text...

Full text loading...

References

  1. Andersen, Elisabeth Muth
    2024 The invitation game: Strategies for launching the prospect of meeting in Danish Tinder chats between male and female users. Internet Pragmatics7(1): 7–34. 10.1075/ip.00111.and
     https://doi.org/10.1075/ip.00111.and [Google Scholar]
  2. 2025 So fast on the keys, when do you have time to meet: Interactionally generated invitations in Danish Tinder chats. Discourse, Context & Media641: Article 100849. 10.1016/j.dcm.2024.100849
     https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dcm.2024.100849 [Google Scholar]
  3. Baker, Carolyn D.
    2000 Locating culture in action: Membership categorisation in texts and talk. InCulture and Text: Discourse and Methodology in Social Research and Cultural Studies, Alison Lee & Cate Poynton (eds), 99–113. London: Routledge.
     [Google Scholar]
  4. Bamberg, Michael G.
    1997 Positioning between structure and performance. Journal of Narrative and Life History7(1–4): 335–342. 10.1075/jnlh.7.42pos
     https://doi.org/10.1075/jnlh.7.42pos [Google Scholar]
  5. Bamberg, Michael G. & Georgakopoulou, Alexandra
    2008 Small stories as a new perspective in narrative and identity analysis. Text & Talk28(3): 377–396. 10.1515/TEXT.2008.018
     https://doi.org/10.1515/TEXT.2008.018 [Google Scholar]
  6. Chirrey, Deborah A.
    2012 Reading the script: An analysis of script formulation in coming out advice texts. Journal of Language and Sexuality1(1): 35–58. 10.1075/jls.1.1.03chi
     https://doi.org/10.1075/jls.1.1.03chi [Google Scholar]
  7. Cohen, Melissa A.
    2005 Innocent flirting or sexual harassment? Perceptions of ambiguous work-place situations. Representative Research in Social Psychology28(1): 47–58.
     [Google Scholar]
  8. de Rijk, Lynn & Stommel, Wyke
    2023 Where to start? Initiating post-match chat conversation on Tinder. InConversation Analytic Perspectives to Digital Interaction: Practices, Resources, and Affordances, Heidi Vepsäläinen, Mikko T. Virtanen & Aino Loviisa Koivisto (eds), 127–147. London: Publishing House of the Finnish Literature Society.
     [Google Scholar]
  9. Deppermann, Arnulf
    2013 How to get a grip on identities-in-interaction: (What) does ‘positioning’ offer more than ‘membership categorization’? Evidence from a mock story. Narrative inquiry23(1): 62–88. 10.1075/ni.23.1.04dep
     https://doi.org/10.1075/ni.23.1.04dep [Google Scholar]
  10. Feinberg, Linda Sones
    1996 Teasing: Innocent Fun or Sadistic Malice?Far Hills, NJ: New Horizon Press.
     [Google Scholar]
  11. Frisby, Brandi N.
    2009 “Without flirting, it wouldn’t be a aarriage”: Flirtatious communication between relational partners. Qualitative Research Reports in Communication10(1): 55–60. 10.1080/17459430902839066
     https://doi.org/10.1080/17459430902839066 [Google Scholar]
  12. Frith, Hannah & Kitzinger, Celia
    2001 Reformulating sexual script theory: Developing a discursive psychology of sexual negotiation. Theory & Psychology11(2): 209–232. 10.1177/0959354301112004
     https://doi.org/10.1177/0959354301112004 [Google Scholar]
  13. Georgakopoulou, Alexandra
    2007 Small Stories, Interaction and Identities. Amsterdam: John Benjamins. 10.1075/sin.8
     https://doi.org/10.1075/sin.8 [Google Scholar]
  14. Gibson, William
    2024 Flirting and winking in Tinder chats: Emoji, ambiguity, and sequential actions. Internet Pragmatics7(2): 249–271. 10.1075/ip.00107.gib
     https://doi.org/10.1075/ip.00107.gib [Google Scholar]
  15. Gibson, William & Roca-Cuberes, Carles
    2019 Constructing blame for school exclusion in an online comments forum: Membership categorisation analysis and endogenous category work. Discourse, Context & Media321: Article 100331. 10.1016/j.dcm.2019.100331
     https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dcm.2019.100331 [Google Scholar]
  16. Goffman, Erving
    1981 Forms of Talk. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press.
     [Google Scholar]
  17. Henningsen, David Dryden
    2004 Flirting with meaning: An examination of miscommunication in flirting interactions. Sex Roles501: 481–489. 10.1023/B:SERS.0000023068.49352.4b
     https://doi.org/10.1023/B:SERS.0000023068.49352.4b [Google Scholar]
  18. Hester, Stephen & Eglin, Peter
    1997 Culture in Action: Studies in Membership Categorization Analysis. Washington, DC: University Press of America.
     [Google Scholar]
  19. Hester, Steven & Hester, Sally
    2012 Category relations, omnirelevance, and children’s disputes. InDisputes in Everyday Life: Social and Moral Orders of Children and Young People, Susan Danby & Maryanne Theobald (eds), 1–25. Leeds: Emerald Group Publishing Limited. 10.1108/S1537‑4661(2012)0000015005
     https://doi.org/10.1108/S1537-4661(2012)0000015005 [Google Scholar]
  20. Housley, William & Fitzgerald, Richard
    2009 Membership categorization, culture and norms in action. Discourse & Society20(3): 345–362. 10.1177/0957926509102405
     https://doi.org/10.1177/0957926509102405 [Google Scholar]
  21. Jensen, Mie Birk, Herold, Maria Dich, Frank, Vibeke Asmussen & Hunt, Geoffrey
    2019 Playing with gender borders: Flirting and alcohol consumption among young adults in Denmark. Nordic Studies on Alcohol and Drugs36(4): 357–372. 10.1177/1455072518807794
     https://doi.org/10.1177/1455072518807794 [Google Scholar]
  22. Johnson, Kristine, Vilceanu, Olguta & Pontes, Manuel C.
    2016 Flirting online and the connection between the use of dating websites and dating applications. Association of Marketing Theory and Practice Proceedings2016(5) 〈https://digitalcommons.georgiasouthern.edu/amtp-proceedings_2016/5〉 (May 23, 2025).
     [Google Scholar]
  23. Kaspar, Heidi & Landolt, Sara
    2016 Flirting in the field: Shifting positionalities and power relations in innocuous sexualisations of research encounters. Gender, Place & Culture23(1): 107–119. 10.1080/0966369X.2014.991704
     https://doi.org/10.1080/0966369X.2014.991704 [Google Scholar]
  24. Kiesling, Scott F.
    2013 Flirting and ‘normative’ sexualities. Journal of Language and Sexuality2(1): 101–121. 10.1075/jls.2.1.04kie
     https://doi.org/10.1075/jls.2.1.04kie [Google Scholar]
  25. Kövecses, Zoltán
    2010 Metaphor: A Practical Introduction. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
     [Google Scholar]
  26. Leudar, Ivan, Marsland, Victoria & Nekvapil, Jirí
    2004 On membership categorization: ‘Us’, ‘them’ and ‘doing violence’ in political discourse. Discourse & Society15(2–3): 243–266. 10.1177/0957926504041019
     https://doi.org/10.1177/0957926504041019 [Google Scholar]
  27. Licoppe, Christian
    2021 The spectre of ‘ghosting’and the sequential organization of post-match Tinder chat conversations. InAnalysing Digital Interaction, Joanne Meredith, David Giles & Wyke Stommel (eds), 155–176. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan. 10.1007/978‑3‑030‑64922‑7_8
     https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-64922-7_8 [Google Scholar]
  28. Lykens, James, Pilloton, Molly, Silva, Cara, Schlamm, Emma, Wilburn, Kate & Pence, Emma
    2019 Google for sexual relationships: Mixed-methods study on digital flirting and online dating among adolescent youth and young adults. JMIR Public Health and Surveillance5(2): e10695.
     [Google Scholar]
  29. Meenagh, Joni
    2015 Flirting, dating, and breaking up within new media environments. Sex Education15(5): 458–471. 10.1080/14681811.2015.1033516
     https://doi.org/10.1080/14681811.2015.1033516 [Google Scholar]
  30. Mortensen, Kristine Køhler
    2017 Flirting in online dating: Giving empirical grounds to flirtatious implicitness. Discourse Studies19(5): 581–597. 10.1177/1461445617715179
     https://doi.org/10.1177/1461445617715179 [Google Scholar]
  31. Nexø, Louise Anker & Strandell, Jacob
    2020 Testing, filtering, and insinuating: Matching and attunement of emoji use patterns as non-verbal flirting in online dating. Poetics831: Article 101477. 10.1016/j.poetic.2020.101477
     https://doi.org/10.1016/j.poetic.2020.101477 [Google Scholar]
  32. Page, Ruth
    2010 Re-examining narrativity: Small stories in status updates. Text and Talk30(4): 423–444. 10.1515/text.2010.021
     https://doi.org/10.1515/text.2010.021 [Google Scholar]
  33. Pinsky, Dina
    2023 Mediated risk: A qualitative exploration of students’ experiences flirting online. Sexualities28(3): 976–993. 10.1177/13634607231224159
     https://doi.org/10.1177/13634607231224159 [Google Scholar]
  34. Psathas, George
    1999 Studying the organization in action: Membership categorization and interaction analysis. Human Studies22(2–4): 139–162. 10.1023/A:1005422932589
     https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1005422932589 [Google Scholar]
  35. Radley, Alan
    2003 Flirting. InDiscourse, the Body, and Identity, Justine Coupland & Richard Gwin (eds), 70–86. Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan. 10.1057/9781403918543_4
     https://doi.org/10.1057/9781403918543_4 [Google Scholar]
  36. Sacks, Harvey
    1972a An initial investigation of the usability of conversational data for doing sociology. InStudies in Social Interaction, David N. Sudnow (ed), 31–74. New York: Free Press.
     [Google Scholar]
  37. 1972b On the analyzability of stories by children. InDirections in Sociolinguistics: The Ethnography of Communication, John Joseph Gumperz & Dell Hymes (eds), 325–345. New York: Rinehart and Winston.
     [Google Scholar]
  38. 1989 Lecture six: The MIR membership categorization device. Human Studies12(3/4): 271–281.
     [Google Scholar]
  39. 1995 Lectures on Conversation, Volumes 1–2. Malden, MA: Blackwell. 10.1002/9781444328301
     https://doi.org/10.1002/9781444328301 [Google Scholar]
  40. Schegloff, Emanuel. A.
    2007 A tutorial on membership categorization. Journal of Pragmatics39(3): 462–482. 10.1016/j.pragma.2006.07.007
     https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pragma.2006.07.007 [Google Scholar]
  41. Simon, William & Gagnon, John H.
    1986 Sexual scripts: Permanence and change. Archives of Sexual Behavior151: 97–120. 10.1007/BF01542219
     https://doi.org/10.1007/BF01542219 [Google Scholar]
  42. 2003 Sexual scripts: Origins, influences and changes. Qualitative Sociology26(4): 491–497. 10.1023/B:QUAS.0000005053.99846.e5
     https://doi.org/10.1023/B:QUAS.0000005053.99846.e5 [Google Scholar]
  43. Speer, Susan A.
    2012 The interactional organization of self-praise: Epistemics, preference organization, and implications for identity research. Social Psychology Quarterly75(1): 52–79. 10.1177/0190272511432939
     https://doi.org/10.1177/0190272511432939 [Google Scholar]
  44. 2017 Flirting: A designedly ambiguous action?Research on Language and Social Interaction50(2): 128–150. 10.1080/08351813.2017.1301297
     https://doi.org/10.1080/08351813.2017.1301297 [Google Scholar]
  45. Stokoe, Elizabeth
    2003 Mothers, single women and sluts: Gender, morality and membership categorization in neighbour disputes. Feminism & Psychology13(3): 317–344. 10.1177/0959353503013003006
     https://doi.org/10.1177/0959353503013003006 [Google Scholar]
  46. 2010a Gender, conversation analysis, and the anatomy of membership categorization practices. Social and Personality Psychology Compass4(7): 428–438. 10.1111/j.1751‑9004.2010.00261.x
     https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1751-9004.2010.00261.x [Google Scholar]
  47. 2010b ‘I’m not gonna hit a lady’: Conversation analysis, membership categorization and men’s denials of violence towards women. Discourse & Society21(1): 59–82. 10.1177/0957926509345072
     https://doi.org/10.1177/0957926509345072 [Google Scholar]
  48. 2012 Moving forward with membership categorization analysis: Methods for systematic analysis. Discourse Studies14(3): 277–303. 10.1177/1461445612441534
     https://doi.org/10.1177/1461445612441534 [Google Scholar]
  49. Wade, T. Joel, Fisher, Maryanne L. & Kenny, Karla
    2023 Flirting. InEncyclopedia of Sexual Psychology and Behavior, Todd K. Shackelford (ed), 1–10. Cham: Springer. 10.1007/978‑3‑031‑08956‑5_177‑1
     https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-031-08956-5_177-1 [Google Scholar]
  50. Whitty, Monica T.
    2003 Cyber-flirting: Playing at love on the Internet. Theory & Psychology13(3): 339–357. 10.1177/0959354303013003003
     https://doi.org/10.1177/0959354303013003003 [Google Scholar]
  51. 2004 Cyber-flirting: An examination of men’s and women’s flirting behaviour both offline and on the Internet. Behaviour Change21(2): 115–126. 10.1375/bech.21.2.115.55423
     https://doi.org/10.1375/bech.21.2.115.55423 [Google Scholar]
  52. Wiederman, Michael W.
    2005 The gendered nature of sexual scripts. The Family Journal13(4): 496–502. 10.1177/1066480705278729
     https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480705278729 [Google Scholar]
  53. 2015 Sexual script theory: Past, present, and future. InHandbook of the Sociology of Sexualities, John DeLamater & Rebecca F. Plante (eds), 7–22. Cham: Springer. 10.1007/978‑3‑319‑17341‑2_2
     https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-17341-2_2 [Google Scholar]
/content/journals/10.1075/jls.24020.and
Loading
  • Article Type: Research Article
Keyword(s): flirting; gender roles; membership categorization analysis; metaphors; online dating; sexual scripts

Most Cited

This is a required field
Please enter a valid email address
Approval was successful
Invalid data
An Error Occurred
Approval was partially successful, following selected items could not be processed due to error