“Being gay has been a curse for me”: Gay Muslim Americans, narrative and negotiations of belonging in the Muslim ummah

In this essay, I draw on ethnographic research with South Asian Muslim American gay men of Pakistani descent in Houston to explore everyday negotiations of religion, race, sexuality and transnationalism. The essay highlights three intersecting registers that situate gay Muslim American sexual cultural formations in local, transnational and cultural contexts. Drawing on participant observation and oral life history interviews, this essay examines: (a) culturally constructed male sexualities that are informed by the scripts, language, and cultural idioms of homo-sociality and same-sex eroticism, love and relationships in the homeland; (b) the increasing centrality of belonging to a transnational Muslim ummah; and (c) the appropriation of western terminologies and categories of sexuality in constructing a gay identity. The narratives examined in this essay contribute to cultural analyses of transnational sexual cultures, and ethnographies of Muslim Americans and LGBTQIA immigrant communities in the West.